What went wrong?
If you are yet to read Bone or Flesh II please take an advantage of that first.
I observe so many things that little or no concerns were given to but have made many relationships to cease from being good and grow to becoming sour, and it is worth it that I share those things here as it will help many to get it right probably again and as well prevent many from falling victim of such as well.
Many relationships have hastily grown sour today or far from that which it is meant to be because many people had successfully exposed the eyes of their partners to some basic and intriguing expression of their nature which had also made them to be at an advantage and without stress won the heart of their partners which made such partners to hastily make the decision to pitch life tents with them but they failed to carry on the expression of theirs that made them to easily win the heart of their partners while in relationship when they enter into marriage. Note that nagging usually cannot be ruled out in such a marriage; there will surely be a plethora of complaints because their conclusion will be that their partners had just suddenly changed from what they used to know him to be; his/her behaviour becomes weird.
Note that it will be a great mistake on your part to expose your partner to an intriguing expression of your nature while in relationship only because you want to gain their heart at that moment if you know that you won’t continue in the same stead when you get into marriage.
Bear in mind that these intriguing features of yours are usually one of the factors that facilitates their quick granting of access for your love to thrive in their heart in spite of the fact that many or some of them might have suffered several untold pains in their previous relationships but the intriguing expression of your nature per time had hastily helped them to come over their unpalatable experience in their previous relationships, why then are you bringing this into remembrance by your nonchalant attitude again? Let’s take some examples in order to better understand what has gone wrong and make proper adjustment in order to have the best of the family.
When you were in a relationship as a man before marriage, no matter how tight your schedules are, you will always make out effort to put a call through to her to hear her voice and when you are returning from work most of the time, you ensure that you buy her some fascinating things on your way back home to give to her when you get to her place. Most of the times on your weekend days, you take her to fascinating places to visit in order to vent off the stress of the week days’ tensions and many a time, when you get to her place and you see that she has a lot of house chores to do, simply because you wanted her to be done on time that you might quickly leave for the place you wanted to take her to, you never hesitated to grant her a helping hand in doing the house chores. For example, if it is washing of cloths, as she’s washing you assisted her in rinsing and spreading; if it is cooking, you stood by her in the kitchen and helped her in picking some distant items all because you wanted her to be done on time that you might both leave for the journey as soon as possible. Know ye not that her brain was at that moment indirectly programmed to register those kindnesses of yours and she’s invariably concluded that you would continue in the same manner in marriage but the moment you entered into marriage, you concluded by your attitude that she no longer deserves your helping hand simply because house chores assignments are meant for wives like say there’s a formal and written evidence for that. She’s your wife not your house girl: she must be evidently cared for and this must be very evident most especially when she starts nursing babies because the work at that time becomes more cumbersome.
The moment your wife started giving birth, your love shifted to your children and none is longer left for the one whose presence in your life precedes that of your children: you no longer buy things for her home and take her to fascinating places alone again but your children, what kind of man are you? Your frequent calls automatically ceased because you thought you saw each other in the morning before you left home, you will see her in the evening when you return home and you will still both sleep together overnight. Don’t you know that keeping in touch with her frequently to her connotes that you keep in her mind and care about her? No matter how cumbersome your schedules were while in relationship, you would always make out time to take out but now that you are married, you’ve concluded that you are to concentrate more on your job because your financial commitment has immensely increased. No one is against that fact but your job must not be seen as a potential thief that will take your attention away from your wife- women love attention (Read more on Much Expected 2)
To you women, when you were in relationship you make effort to look impressively good to your potential hubby but immediately you are declared as his wife, the care of your body deserves not your attention any longer; your hair is always left unkempt and taking your bath each day is only being determined by whether you will be going out that day. Are you only after something and now that you’ve got that, looking appreciatively means nothing to you again? I can’t just imagine a situation whereby a man returned from work in the evening and wants to hug his wife but the odour that came out from the woman’s armpit as she outstretched her hands was extensively disgusting such that the man was forced not to hug the woman again because she’s yet to take her bath since morning and this can prevent the man from hugging his wife each time he returns from work because of this singular act of hers. (Read more on A House or a Home)
You were swift to make the house look good when you were in relationship since you know that your partner can pay you visit any time but since you’re occupied at work now, house work should be apportioned between you and your husband since you never wanted to hire the service of a house maid, hmmm. Prior to your marriage, you were submissive to him which is one of the basic elements that makes a man to truly love a woman but now, you strongly turned down most of his sayings without a tenable reason which could rather have been done in a nonconflicting manner or respectful ways. Because you’re now married, you care not about covering your body again and every other person around freely watches that which your hubby paid for. You are fond of tying rapper up to the level of your breast and leave your breast dancing up and down (without bra) from morning till evening because you are yet engaged in daily work even when you walk round the streets when you know that your husband is against that which you’re fond of doing. You’re are fond of doing what your husband dislikes yet you cry that your family is under spiritual affliction or attack. Examine yourself
Many parents had lost control over their children because they have lost control over their house; a divided home. They left the care and training of their children to both school teacher and house maid. (Read more on Parents)
They’ve been deprived of parental love and care; your mistake is heavily telling on the kind of children you’re raising. Remember that you’re both raising the father and husband of someone and likewise the mother and wife of some, please raise them well.
I can’t just imagine one of the children of a family telling either of his parents that they have a visitor but the person he called the visitor happened to be one of his parents. He can’t be blamed for that, it is probably because he’d just seen him/her for the first time in a day time like that.
Note that most of the children that are deprived of parental love and care often fall victims of being exposed to some things prematurely or joining bad groups that can influence their behaviours in their quest to fill up the vacuum the absence of their parents had created within them thereby getting wrong and deadly advises when they fall into wrong hands. Read more on The parentless Children